This post is late! This is a two sided conversation. On the one hand I will not apologize for falling short of expectations, and on the other I did this by setting expectations I have permitted myself not to meet. There are weeks where I have an abundance of energy and creativity, and others where exhaustion takes over and my motivation runs for the hills. Those weeks are the ones that teach us to grow and evolve both personally and in our creativity.
I am a big proponent of the saying “expectations ruin relationships.” More specifically unspoken, unattainable, and inflexible expectations ruin relationships. In our relationship with creativity expectations can completely destroy our capacity for creative engagement. The expectations that are the most detrimental to our relationship with creativity are the ones that we place on ourselves. Specifically, expectations surrounding levels of productivity can stifle creative practice more than motivate it.
This has been my cycle - unmet expectations followed by guilt. The way to re-write these stories of guilt and broken promises is to develop a better sense of understanding and enacting grace. Life gets messy. Life gets full. Some days we simply can’t do it all, and instead of beating ourselves up and guilting ourselves into taking on more than we can handle, we need to get good at practicing grace, at bettering our understanding of our abilities, energy levels, and capacity to show up in the ways that we need to first, and want to second. Yes, our creative time and passion is important. It is the recharge that we need, the beauty e seek, and the peace we chase, however, our children can't go without dinner, our day jobs need to be worked, and quality time with our spouse, that family dinner with our parents, the trip with our friends - those things matter too, those things need to be done.
The beauty of a creative practice that is integrated into our lives is that it is flexible because we understand the nature of our lives. The way it works in seasons of rest and bustle, calm and chaos. It’s not only the chaos and the demands on our time that we need to go through with grace. We also need to give ourselves the grace of rest. At the end of the day I hope that our creativity is part of our rest. At times it is restorative and calming and peaceful. At other times squeezing in a creative session can feel like another check on the to do list of life and that is not in service to you. Our creativity should always be in service to our lives, our happiness, and our growth. If we need to step away and lay down, simply be in a moment instead of moving into creativity - let yourself be. Creativity is the teacher of being. It teaches us to embrace and engage and appreciate the here and now. In some moments that means doing nothing.
Come to your relationship with creativity with understanding. By doing so we broaden our awareness of our creative practice, its place and purpose in our lives, of ourselves as creatives, as people. Expanded awareness after all is the goal, and it can help us limit judgement in all aspects of life, but only when we practice understanding and grace.
To sum up: placing rigid expectations upon ourselves in relation to our creativity often results in broken promises and feelings of guilt. Allowing for more flexibility within our creative practice can help alleviate these pressures of expectations as we navigate the curveballs and general fun of life. In addition, accessing and implementing grace in periods of bustle and rest give us room to operate guilt free within our creativity, forging a stronger, more respectful relationship with ourselves and our practices.
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